![]() It’s a Lord of the Flies-esque community from which there is no escape except through a giant and mysterious maze that are home to some shoddily designed robotic-scorpion-spider things (called Grievers) and the outline of the maze supposedly changes every night, making it difficult to map. He’s transported to a place called The Glades, home to a bunch of self-sufficient teenage boys that once found themselves in the same situation. Thomas (Dylan O’Brien) wakes up on a mysterious elevator ride to a mysterious place with no memory of his previous life. It’s an idiot plot designed to keep idiotic people in idiotic situations. It’s incompetent in every way, and that’s not even the worst of it. And considering that 2014 has already come up with a bumper crop of films I would consider placing on my list of worst films I have ever seen in my life, this might be the worst accomplishment possible. I hate this film this much (and I hate using the word hate, but here it’s very appropriate) and I haven’t had my time wasted this much in years. I couldn’t say that if you are a parent and you willfully bring your child to see this bullshit that I will forever judge your life choices. I wouldn’t be able to say that this is an even hoarier cash grab than any of the Transformers movies a truly soulless film made for soulless human beings. I wouldn’t have been able to say that this is the most insidious and morally reprehensible young adult novel adaptation I have ever seen. I couldn’t use this as the occasion to say that The Maze Runner perfectly encapsulates everything that’s wrong about studio filmmaking today. It would have been only the second film I ever walked out of in a theatre in 18 years doing this job (the first being Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star), but had I walked out, I couldn’t have in good conscience written a full review about how much I fucking detest this film and everything it stands for. I considered walking out of The Maze Runner. ![]() Well, you and the numerous people on the way out who also wondered aloud why they didn’t just get up and leave on their own. You guys were the true heroes that night. You didn’t have to be there for work and you could leave at any time and thankfully you found the perfect moment to realize you could move on and live happy, healthy lives without sitting through one of the worst films I have ever had the immense displeasure of ever sitting through. ![]() Oh, people who I witnessed walking out of the screening of The Maze Runner well before the end of the film, how I envy you.
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